If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
