And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
