is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
