Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
