im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
