sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
