there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
