There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
