Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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