when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
