the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
