Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
