Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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