im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
