I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish you could order shots online.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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