I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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