Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
