Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
