i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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