I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
