just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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