im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
