So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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