I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she smelled like a LAN party
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
