I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
