he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
