i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i out mim tonsoeep
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