I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
