It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
