Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
