nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize