I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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