Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
