Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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