oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize