You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
