My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
