dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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