he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize