yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
