I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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