thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
