She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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