I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
