No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
