Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
