Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
