its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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