To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
