Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
