In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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