I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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