I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
