I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize