it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
