...so i touched it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
