U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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