he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
