your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
