K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
