White coat. Heels.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
