tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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